27 lessons learned in 27 years (updated version)

So this week it happened again. A reminder that I, despite of what I think, am getting older. To remind myself that there are more important things than your age, I decided to look into the list of my life lessons again and share some of my new discoveries with you. You are welcome.

1.)    Aging is not a bad thing. Just like a fine bottle of wine, you mature with age. Then again, the price of a matured wine gets higher. So does the price of your maintenance.

2.)    People come and go. If they don´t want to stay in your life, they don´t deserve your attention.

3.)    Trust me, let them go. Don´t let them use you. Move on, close the chapter even if it hurts. They will make attempts to invade your life again (and it may look like they are serious), however, by that time you´ll know they are just… not worth it anymore.

4.)    It indeed is completely okay to have a cheeky little mental breakdown if things don´t go as planned. Even if the breakdown takes place out in the public.

5.)    Be nice to assholes. As cray-cray as it sounds, it actually works. And, to be honest, it sounds harder than it is. If someone is being a total douche to you, kill them with kindness. There are two options how this can go down; it either makes them even more angry, which only shows their weakness, or they stop because they don´t expect kindness. Ask them, “are you having a bad day, darling? Do you feel a little bit shit today? What´s going on? Share your secrets with me.” What it does is, that it makes them feel like a douchebag for actually being a douchebag.

6.)    I learned that trusting people that tell you other people´s secrets is a total horror story. We all know that type of person that feeds on gossips and other people´s business, right? But what they love even more is telling you about other people´s business. And even if you think they would never do something like that to you, trust me, they would.

7.)     Guys you meet in a nightclub are not a boyfriend material, however nice and awesome they look when they try to buy you a drink. You can trust me on this one, I learned my lesson. Multiple times.

8.)    If you go for a nature adventure with your nieces and nephews, don´t bring any animals home! They will definitely die in the shitty little plastic container you found on the way. Sparing the child the drama of watching their newly-found pets die is the best you can do for them… and for yourself, because you don´t need your conscience to constantly rub the tragedy in your face. I remember bringing my tiny little fish home from our local lake, watching them grow and one day, finding them eat each other alive until there was only one left (btw she died, too because she stuffed herself with her little brothers and sisters).

9.)    No matter what they tell you, you cannot normally function on a 4-hour sleep. Or at least I can´t. If I don´t get my nice long 8-hours beauty sleep, I turn into Voldemort. You don´t want to live to experience it.

10.)                       I think it´s only in your mid-twenties when you really start to appreciate the power of a good morning poop. I know you are either laughing your asses off right now or you think I am inappropriate for a teacher. However, I still think that this is an important life lesson to learn. Don´t wake up 15 minutes before you have leave your house. Give yourself more time, have a cuppa and then suddenly you start to feel it; ladies and gentlemen, we have a mass evacuation planned. Trust me on this one, you´ll feel happy and as light as air during the rest of the day.

11.)                       Travel as much as you can. Whether you believe it or not, the place that you were born, or the place that you were brought up in is more than probably not the place where you will end up in in the future. I don´t want to say that you have to run from your family, I love mine more than my life. However, traveling opens new door for you and you´ll find yourself one day in a place where you feel like you belong. Maybe not for the rest of your life, but definitely for a certain period of time. I am so grateful for my parents letting me explore and travel from a fairly young age because without it, I wouldn´t find myself feeling like I belong in Leipzig, or in London, or in Edinburgh… or anywhere else. Every time I explored a new territory, I felt like I left a part of me there, so that I could return anytime and find a place to belong.

12.)                       In this life, take what is there given for you. Take it even if it´s not there for you… take it, if you want it. I am talking about your dreams, your passions, your aspirations in life… There is no big dream in the world that can´t be achieved. Sometimes you just have to work a little bit harder for you to touch the stars.

13.)                       Education. I know what you expect. You expect me to tell you that you´re not good enough if you don´t excel at school. However, I think that kind of opinion is bullshit. If you fail in your exams, if you´re shit at school, it´s not the end of the world, you will be fine. Well, unless you want to be a doctor, because then you really need to know your shit. I mean, education is not the only thing that defines you as a person, there are more things to say about that. I only want to say that the most important thing is that you try.

14.)                       Money. Spend it. Of course, be sensible. However, if there something you like, work towards it. Save. Buy it. Now I don´t mean that you need everything you like. But if there´s really something that your heart aches for, go for it. No-one else will buy it for you. Unless you have a sugar daddy.

15.)                       Take real pictures. I don´t mean only the mirror selfies when you pick a good outfit (I am guilty). I mean the ones that capture memories. Memories with your family, your friends, special moments or moods. Print them. Frame them. Or don´t, just keep them. They will last eternity and they will be there to remind you of what you achieved in the past.

16.)                       When you drink and you start to feel great, stop drinking at that point, because it´s only down the hill from there. You start somewhere in the middle. You go up as the drinks arrive. You feel on the top of the world. And then, one more sip and your brain shuts down. Kebab… puking… breaking up with your significant other via Facebook Messenger…You don´t want to experience that.

17.)                       If you really, like really like that person, like a next level admiration, do one thing. Try and annoy the shit out of them. If they survive and still decide to stay, they´re a keeper. If they don´t, well, oops…

18.)                       Hug, kiss and show your love to your parents as much as you can. I don´t need to tell you more. Just do it.

19.)                       Get comfortable in your own skin. That´s the most important thing you have to learn, that is the stepping stone. If you feel comfortable with yourself, you radiate a special kind of energy. If other people see the love you have for yourself, they will respect you more.

20.)                       You don´t depend on another person when it comes to your own happiness.

21.)                       Don´t try to use a metal fork to help your jammed toast out of the toaster. You´ll die.

22.)                       Comparing yourself to other people, their goals and their abilities is not what you want to do. It´s going to drive you nuts at one point or another. No matter how hard you try, you are stuck with you. And that, when you think about it, is a beautiful thing because no one else can be YOU.

23.)                       Always grab the last piece of cake, otherwise someone else will and they will become your deadly enemy. Unless it´s your sister. Let her eat the last piece of cake, don´t be an asshole.

24.)                       If you are too busy, slow down, life will throw you in enough whirls. You don´t have to create them on your own.

25.)                       Don´t cook your eggs in a microwave. Unless you want a new microwave.

26.)                       Automatic toilets will never flush at the right time.

27.)                       Drink more wine. Before it´s too late… Preferably red and dry.

Until next time,

Čauko, Lenka 😊